As some mildly famous person once said, “Once a new technology rolls over you, if you’re not part of the steamroller, you’re part of the road.”
Needless to say, this article talks about the road’s perspective.
I have begun to realize that technology has the capability to empower people and it also has the ability to set up byte-lined demarcations that can divide a city, nation and the whole world into chunks that are conveniently manageable. On both counts, I have been dealt a very bad hand by technology. I have been rolled over!
Parents now try to play matchmaker through a Devilishly Inspired Matrimonial Website using IT (D.I.M.W.I.T.). When they do this, little do they realize how the rules of the game change. These portals are meant to facilitate Sordid Harrowing Arranged Marriages (S.H.A.M.s) In the past, S.H.A.M.s were done with parents and pensioners (S.H.A.M. arranging ntipicks S.H.A.M.A.N.s) spreading the good word around that they had a daughter ready to get married. The pensioners taking it up as an honorable livelihood (“The smile on their faces was payment enough“).
Since the confounded technology was not available then, their search size would be limited to their relatives and friends spread across the country and globe. When they found a suitable match, the S.H.A.M.A.N.s would lose no time in exchanging cutlery and throwing some dimembered members of magnoliophyta family(okay, division). Soon the doe-eyed girl and the deer-eyed groom would head in the direction where the groom’s house sat waiting patiently for the girl to come and kick some rice, cement some footprints (which would later be gift wrapped and given to the groom in a nice place with a sunset) and get put the “home” into the word “house”, like never before.
When you consider Forever Inseparable Love Marriage Injunctions (F.I.L.M.I.), the couple usually decides to run away (emphasis away) or get married and flutter like the breeze and lay their heads down where the grass was softest. The point with all F.I.L.M.I. linkups is that there was no emphasis on geography, alimony maybe, but that was much later.
All that was s yesterday. All that was before D.I.M.W.I.T.s happened.
With D.I.M.W.I.T.s, the S.H.A.M.A.N.s and their daughters now find that they have access to a whole lot of more guys than they could have ever hoped for. There are guys of all sizes, breeds, piercings and most importantly, locations.
Why send their precious daughters off to some place when lo and behold, their grooms were at the coffee-shop round the corner, at a place 2 stations away or maybe whose house was Rs. 50 or less by auto away?
Their daughters could head back home for mom’s cooking, petting the dog, clipping their toe-nails and watching their favorite serial while crying into their flouroscent pink handkercheif lent to them by their sister who had incidentally left her husband at home and walked across the floor to cry into her pink hanky as well.
Bottom line here is that, one guy stuck in a city where counting the entire contingent of walk-back girls wouldn’t merit even glancing at your toes, doesn’t have a chance in dimwit hell!
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