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Posts Tagged ‘vadivelu’

Paavam Shoaib

Yesterday, the media went full throttle about the Shoiab-Sania-Ayesha-Maha love quadrilateral. They have exposed every geometric aspect to this relationship possible over and over again. And just in case, our brain manages to quietly manufacture  some new cells which still haven’t heard the story, the channels play it once again. It quickly dawns on our newborn brain cell why all the other cells around it are blowing their .. well, enough of that line of thought.

As a Chennaite, I was quite surprised when I read about poor Shoaib’s story. If only he had caught a flight to Chennai before he ran behind the hottie from Hyd. Here’s what would have happened.

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My Address in Sharjah

My address is:

#7, Vivekananda Street,
Dubai Cross Road,
Dubai Main Road,
Dubai.

Confused? Watch this video. I have written the subtitles. People who don’t understand Tamil, thank me. Literal Translation follows. Adjust OK Please!


(Music starts)
Vadivelu (VV) in the ‘ouch’ blue costume and his Chamcha (CC) carrying the umbrella enter.

Approaches Charpoy-Warmer (CW)

VV: Yelay, small brother! Some new boy has come from Dubai, right? Where did he stay? Bagirein-a?
CC: (Poooosh)Why is he spraying .. that’s the twist .. read on!
CW: I don’t know
VV: Sarjava?
CC: (Pooooosh)
CW: I don’t know
VV: Abidhabi-a?
CC: (Poooosh)
CW :(Getting angry) I’m sitting here. You’re asking me? Go ask that tea-shop wallah!
VV: Hold the cigarrete
CW: It’s hot!
CC: It’s hot? Push and sit (Move aside).
VV: Okaaay .. why are you getting angry. I have stayed there and I’m coming to say I know some ten places, for that you are getting romba .. romba angry? Only answer what I ask have asked you, you butters!
CC: Big brother. That’s him

Parthiban entry with not so subtle exposure of an unshaved leg

VV: It’s him?
CC: Yes big brother
VV: Halo! How are you? Salm Alaykum
PB: (delicately adjusting his moustache) Has he really come from Dubai? I have heard that there are Sheiks in Dubai, could there be cracks like him also?
PB: Salam a lekum
VV: . Small brother! One minute. Come here.
VV: Okaaaay.. these boys are talking like you were in Dubai or something. Where did you stay in Dubai? Bagirein-a?
PB: Um..er.. no
VV: Sarja?
PB: no
VV: Abidhabi-a?
PB: (Parthiban starts) In Dubai
VV: Aa pa pa cha. I know you stayed in Dubai. Where did you stay in Dubai?
PB: (Great brain at work, people!!!) In Dubai, near the main road, next to the bus stand.
VV: In Dubai, bus stand? You’re saying it like some Usilampatti bus stand? I am asking you where is the bus stand in Dubai?
PB: (One more) Er.. do you know where all the Dubai buses come and stop? There.
VV: Aa va va
PB: (standing up) This is all too much nakal . Tell me the address of the place you stayed in Dubai.
PB: Errr..
VV: I’m telling you to tell me
PB: (Here it is) #6, Vivekananda Street, Dubai Cross Road, Dubai Main Road, Dubai!
VV: Hey! Hey! Turn it and tell me (actually Vadivelu says repeat it, but it can be interpreted in Tamil as reverse and say)
PB: Dubai, Dubai Main Road, Dubai Cross Road, Vivekananda Street, #6
VV: Why did you tell me the whole thing in reverse?
PB: You told me to say it and I did (escape)
VV: Oho! That ‘reverse’? A-ha. This guy seems to be a smart guy.
VV: Ay ay. Stop man. What did you say – Vivekananda street? When did Vivekananda come there?
PB: Vivekananda finished studies and suffered because he couldn’t find a job. So he came to Dubai and saw work (worked) for 5 years. So they kept his name.
VV: Vivekananda saw work there? Which company did he see work in? Wait man! Let him lie, which company did you see work for?
PB: Mannar and Company?
VV: huh?
PR: Get lost you Guava! Am I marriage-prize Thangavel to do fraud like that? Right. Which company did you see work for?
VV: I worked for K..k..k..Kekraan Mekaran company
PR: Oh! Kekraan Mekraan company. (aside) If you look at his face, it looks like a western toilet, would he have done a collector’s job there?
VV: Who are you talking to over there?
PB: You were cleaning toilets over there right?
VV: ba ba ba what man? You are talking bad things in front of a small kid
PB: Don’t come near me. Bad smell is hitting me.
CC: Pooooosh
PB: Oh that’s why you are hitting scent?
CC: Yes big brother
PB: What? Yes? Get lost you guava!
CC: (pushing Parthiban to a wall covered in cow shit) Lord! Rasa! Lord! My sweet! My gold! How did you know that I was looking at a job in a toilet cleaning company?
PB: So really you saw work in a toilet cleaning company?
VV: Oh so you asked punch-pointedly? (You were guessing?) I myself babbled?
PB: This called Putting and Getting
VV: What does that mean?
PB: Give and take policy
VV: What yelavu policy? I have told these town-people and my wife a different version
PB: What?
VV: I have told them Building Contractor. Don’t spoil that respect and make me stink in the street
PB: Ay-chi! Take your hand away. Did you clean camels there? It’s smelling so much?
PB: Move back. I’m telling you to move back
VV: How can I move back more than this?
PB: Right. What is this Jingi-chan, jingi-chan, blue color lungi? Seeing this, two cows have died and four men have lost their eyesight.
VV: Really? When did this …
PB: First answer what I asked
VV: Ya ya ya, this is Dubai dress
PB: Dubai dress has to be put in Dubai, why are you wearing it in Tamil Nadu?
VV: A yo yo yo from now on I will not wear it. I will not wear it
PB: So you’ll remove it and be seen with your loin cloth, in a town where there are ladies? Slipper will tear!
VV: Aiyeye! I didn’t say anything like that!
PB: Then what are you going to do?
VV: I said I’ll wear another dress. Dhothi-shirt.
PB: You’ll wear a Dhothi-shirt and ask me where I worked in Dubai, right?
VV: Aiyeye! I will never ask it! I will never speak of it! You see.
PB: From now on, doing this style, getting one guy to spray stink-medicine on you
VV: Awwwuuuuu (classic Vadivel ‘I’m-screwed’ sound)
PB: If you do all this, I’ll construct a toilet and make you clean it, careful!
VV: Aiyayo Aiyayo. No need. Don’t keep me in that job.
PB: Will you ask where is Dubai?
VV: I won’t ask. I won’t ask.
PB: Where is Dubai?
VV: Dubai coming near Erode, near Tutukudi
PB: That’s how you should say it. Go.
VV: Then, do you have some change-job (small job) in your house? Tell me, I’ll look after it
PB: The toilet needs cleaning
VV: Aw

Did I mention Parthiban lives next door?

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