“Okay guys. Here’s the scoop. From now on we don’t air anything unless it has something to do with someone in the Middle East, bomb blasts, rapes, executions, murders or tidal waves. For those of you who think the news is getting too depressing, throw some Mallika Sherawat in there. Oh .. and just in case you don’t find anything still, do a movie review.”
So it came as no surprise to me, when I switched on Star News today and realised that nothing sinister had happened in the world lately. The channel had decided to do a review of just released Mani Ratnam movie ‘Guru’. They had decided that it wasn’t big enough to fit a half hour slot, so they did the next best thing. They fit it into a four hour slot.
So for a good part of the morning, you could switch on your TV to find the big B being interviewed about the movie. Apparently, they could not get his son to comment, so Daddy did all the talking. He said that he thought the movie was fabulous (we can’t believe you’d say that, by the way do you share a bank account), the music was great, Mallika sizzled and Aishwarya expressed herself very well in the movie. In the end, he managed to shed a few tear drops of ‘joy’ which the star-eyed reporter and his zoom-happy cameraman managed to lap up.
When they got bored of doing the Big B, bit they did a Dhiru Vs Guru comparison. The movie is supposed to be based on the life of Dhirubhai Ambani. Which is a good thing to know, but then the joblessness at the news channel must be at an all time high. It points out that among other things, both of them hold their hands to their chins when they are happy. News you can use people!
And after everything has been said about everything, I save the postscipt for the belle. Mallika did what she does best. She gave the people their money’s worth and news channels something to air.