When is Rome .. don’t!

“Saar”, Aman said, “shall I get your coffee?”

“No Aman”, I said smiling, “not today!”

“Why?”

“I’m fasting!” I declared with an expression that was supposed to combine honesty, modesty, a little cry for some empathy, sympathy and a smile but ended up looking like that look you get when you see a gum stuck to the bottom of your shoe on a bad day.

Ramadan started on September 1st with the sighting of the new moon crescent. I got an update from my bus driver. He told me that all Muslims fast from dawn to dusk, no food and not a drop of water. The fasting starts at Imsak around 4:30 and lasts till the Maghrib at around 6:30. It is one of the pillars of Islam (third). Muslims not only fast during this time, but also abstain from lying, cheating, etc.

Me and the rest of the non-Muslim junta celebrate this time by happily practicing the government rules which say that working hours are from 9 a.m. to 3 p.m. Strictly! Who’d complain? On the day back on the first day, honestly, I felt guilty. I felt like I was taking candy from a kid, a really small kid with barely developed fingers. And a really big candy.

That’s when I decided. I would fast too. To figure out how the whole experience was. So that when I interacted with other Muslims, I would know exactly what they were going through. My First Mistake.

I got up at 7:45 a.m. I remembered my resolution. No food and no water. Skipping breakfast was ok. I actually felt better. I decided to take a cab. It was a Pathan driver. I asked him whether he was also fasting. He said he was. So I asked him how he managed to go through the entire day without any food and water. He said that it was tough, but eating it food at 4 a.m. and then at 6 p.m. wasn’t so hard. I gulped a big saliva-less gulp into my thirsty throat.

Freeze that. My Second mistake.

4 a.m. food? You can do that? What can you eat? Anything?

The Pathan driver gave me the best “Duh-uhh!” look Pathan’s are capable of these days and wished me luck as I got off.

By 1:00 p.m. everyone in office was doing their food, while I was amazed that I wasn’t feeling any but hungry or thirsty. Sure, everyone came and asked me if I was doing all right and I managed to answer with the same weird look I had used before.

By 3:00 p.m., I was at home, and realized that my brain had done Mamta Banerjee was proceeding to lock down the rest of my body.

By 4:00 p.m., my stomach was making so many sounds that I thought if I put a mike to it, I could surely belt out a  Himesh Topi-iyya song.

By 5:00 p.m., I was in the kitchen cooking and cooking and cooking.

At 6:38 p.m., I had decided to some prayers and thank Lord Almighty. I didn’t. What I did was …

Dates, Figs, more dates, apricots, Channa Masala and Bread, more bread, even more bread, cornflakes(!), strawberry milk, premium custard apple juice, plain apple juice, pure milk and just for kicks, more dates.

When I finished I realized that I had fasted for a day and managed to eat for two. No wonder, as I heard that most food companies meet almost 50-60% of their annual target during the month of Ramadan.

Next day,

“Saar”, Aman said, “shall I get your coffee?”

“Please Aman, please get me some coffee”

P.S. No offense meant to any Muslims. If it doesn’t come across properly in this article, I have a great appreciation for Islam and its teaching. During the month of Ramadan, the gates of heaven are supposed to be kept open and angels descend on earth. It is also in celebration of the month that Allah revealed the Quran to Prophet Muhammed (PBUH). Fasting makes people humble by making them realize “what hunger is”. Also throughout the month, Muslims do acts of charity.

P.P.S. In case you’re still waiting for my third mistake – heads up! I didn’t graduate from IIT.